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The book that could make you rethink your relationships

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Media captionAuthor Holly Bourne explains learn how to write a greatest promoting book

Rarely does a novel change your entire perspective on courting and friendship. But for me, How Do You Like Me Now? did simply that.

This is younger grownup writer Holly Bourne’s first foray into grownup writing, and it completely addresses the storm of feelings you undergo as a younger lady, rising up in a world the place you have to have the very best boyfriend, greatest profession and greatest group of associates.

(And it is all obtained to be displayed fantastically throughout your social media profiles.)

The novel follows the lifetime of Tori Bailey, a profitable self-help writer in her early 30s, who continuously compares herself to her associates and seeks validation from social media.

At the forefront, although, is the dysfunctional long-term relationship that she will’t deliver herself to depart, with a build-up of occasions performed out over 9 months.

“Month by month I was testing the reader’s patience,” Bourne tells the BBC.

“Each month you’d be like, ‘She’s still not left him’, and I wanted to explore all the reasons why a woman would not leave a relationship that was so clearly making her unhappy and you could argue was massively damaging her.”

The writer describes Tori’s relationship as “at the mildest unhealthy and, in my mind, abusive” and says this difficulty is one thing she desires to “blow the lid off”.

“I wished to point out that ladies in all these relationships aren’t battered, world weary, meek or have let themselves go.

“Abuse is actually attracted to strong and confident women and there is this huge juxtaposition between the Tori she presents to the world and who she is behind closed doors.”

Bourne did a lot of analysis earlier than writing the book, and was annoyed to talk to ladies who appeared highly effective however had relationships that had been “eroding and sucking them dry”.

Image copyright Hodder & Stoughton
Image caption Holly Bourne has written her first grownup novel

The writer is greatest recognized for her younger grownup collection The Spinster Club and is credited for introducing feminist speaking factors to a teenager viewers.

This is a idea Bourne wished to discover in her grownup writing too.

“I feel like the fourth wave of feminism has been really interesting and woken a lot of women up, because we’ve been socialised into a particular way of being,” she says.

“We suppose, ‘You’re nonetheless no one until you’ve obtained a man’, and there is a lot of cognitive dissonance happening and that causes discomfort and I wished the book to discover that.

“There is this gap between it being normal as a heteros3xual woman to want to find a man, but now that we’re ‘woke’ it’s quite hard to find a man who is at your level.”

Bourne additionally wished to discover how feminism works in feminine friendships too, and located that competitors was extra typically on the playing cards than camaraderie.

“Women to some degree feel like success in any given field is limited and therefore you’ll have to fight other women for it,” she says.

“I’ve this poster in my room that says ‘Her success just isn’t your failure’ – as a result of I really feel whether or not it is ‘getting a boyfriend’ or ‘getting your dream job’, ladies have been socialised to compete.

“If you can construct one another up its actually empowering and essential fairly than tearing one another down. But it’s so exhausting.

“I do feel like women feel they are constantly in competition with each other – even their friends who they love and adore and do want to be happy.”

Image copyright Hodder & Stoughton
Image caption How Do You Like Me Now?

Bourne says social media has exacerbated the issue as a result of it “pressures women to hit certain milestones by certain ages in order to be deemed successful”.

She says: “You used to not know that the girl from school that you didn’t like anyway had a beautiful wedding and has a child or has got the dream job – but now you have a constant reminder.”

Bourne additionally says a lot of authors do not need to write about social media as a result of the platforms date so simply – however she “had to go there”.

“It’s part of everybody’s life and it’s changing the way we think, feel and behave,” she says.

“For my younger readers that is all they’ve ever recognized and I type of really feel sorry for them.

“The school bell would go at 3.30 and that was it, I didn’t have to deal with anything the next day, whereas they’re just immersed in that all the time.”

And there’s one last item Bourne desires to get throughout to her new grownup readers too – the significance of taking care of your psychological well being.

“There are a lot of therapists in my younger grownup books as a result of I need to present that really going to speak to anyone in regards to the quicksand you cannot get out of is a massively empowering and constructive factor to do.

“My private perception is that everybody wants a little bit of remedy and if everybody hit 25 and had like 12 obligatory classes and requested, ‘Why do I do the issues I do?’ then the world could be significantly better.

“I feel like I try very hard in my life not to tell people what to think, feel or believe and you write stories that you hope ask the right questions for themselves.”

How Do You Like Me Now? is out now.

Follow us on Facebook, on Twitter @BBCNewsEnts, or on Instagram at bbcnewsents. If you have a story suggestion e-mail leisure.information@bbc.co.uk.

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