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Women do not slot in, don't desire the trouble, and wrestle with "complex issues".
Those are simply a few of the causes given for not appointing women to FTSE firm boards, based on a report on gender stability.
The government-backed Hampton-Alexander Review referred to as it surprising, whereas a minister branded the excuses "pitiful".
The authorities needs women to make up at the least a third of boards for the UK's 350 largest firms by 2020.
While the assessment's interim report discovered that issues are positively bettering, some companies appear to be dragging their ft and paying solely lip service to variety.
The prime 10 excuses for not appointing women have been:
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"I don't think women fit comfortably into the board environment"
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"There aren't that many women with the right credentials and depth of experience to sit on the boardthe issues covered are extremely complex"
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"Most women don't want the hassle or pressure of sitting on a board"
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"Shareholders just aren't interested in the make-up of the board, so why should we be?"
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"My other board colleagues wouldn't want to appoint a woman on our board"
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"All the 'good' women have already been snapped up"
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"We have one woman already on the board, so we are doneit is someone else's turn"
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"There aren't any vacancies at the momentif there were I would think about appointing a woman"
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"We need to build the pipeline from the bottomthere just aren't enough senior women in this sector"
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"I can't just appoint a woman because I want to"
The explanations come from a vary of FTSE 350 chairs and chief executives that have been heard by the crew conducting the assessment.
Amanda Mackenzie, chief govt of Business within the Community, mentioned: "As you learn this listing of excuses you would possibly suppose it is 1918, not 2018.
"It reads like a script from a comedy parody but it's true. Surely we can now tackle this once and for all."
The variety of all-male FTSE 350 firm boards fell from 152 in 2011 to 10 in 2017.
However, Sir Philip Hampton, the senior City determine who's main the assessment, mentioned firms have been nonetheless a good distance off from assembly the 2020 goal.
"We used to listen to these excuses repeatedly a few years in the past, fortunately a lot much less so now.
"However, leaders expressing warm words of support but actually doing very little to appoint women into top jobsor quietly blocking progressare really not much better."
And Business Minister Andrew Griffiths mentioned such "appalling" excuses proved firms have extra work to do.
"It's surprising that some companies suppose these pitiful and patronising excuses are acceptable causes to maintain women from the highest jobs.
"Our most successful companies are those that champion diversity."
The assessment is because of publish its newest figures on the variety of women on FTSE 350 boards on 27 June.