Police After Disappointed-Pen*s-Pump Gunman

Police in Saint Paul, Minnesota, are looking for a man who pulled a gun on store workers in a local s3x shop. He was upset that the pen*s pump he’d purchased had failed to satisfy his dreams. The store workers told the man the pump’s flat results were down to “operator error”. The man disagreed. He pulled out a handgun and pointed it at the clerk’s head. He demanded a new pump, which he received before fleeing. Police say the pen*s pump bandit “remains at large” – but whether or not he’s now large enough remains to be seen.